lie.

i hate you. i hate you so much. why do you lie to me? you lielielie because you know i want to believe you. you just madeout with her? you didn’t fuck her? liar. i saw what she said to you. that was a test, to see if you would come clean, and you failed the fuck out of it. all you ever do is lie to me. if you love me so much, why do you do this to me? i find shit out & you panic, so you lie. but you know what the worst part is? i actually had the strength to confront you about it…. but i don’t have the strength to leave you. i will never have the strength to leave you. because if i do, you’ll just go back to doing what you always do when you’re single. and i’ll be just as unhappy as ever. i could never deal with hearing things about you, who you’re hooking up with these days, who’s getting the dick from you this week. you know what i want to happen? i want to break up with you & never speak to you again, and i want you to die. i want you to die so that if we break up, there just is no more you. at all. no one to hurt me anymore, no one to cheat on me, no one to constantly worry about… no one to cry over. but that can’t happen. you won’t just automatically fall off the face of the earth when i leave you. you’ll be there to haunt me. so instead of being strong and independent…. i lose my pride. i stay with you. i always stay with you, no matter what you do to me. because if i leave, i am unhappy. even more unhappy than i am right now, if that’s even possible. i stay with you, because you are everything to me. there will never be anyone i want as much as i want you. and maybe i only want you this bad because you’ve proved to me that i will never fully, truly have you, all to myself. you always want what you can’t have, right?

why?

why do i give you everything you want when you can’t even be true to me?